Critical Mass

You may have noticed that it’s been a while since an update. I say “may” loosely, because most people don’t care, with the exception of Eili (who sends me IMs daily and even went so far as to post a thread in Members General begging for an update.)

It probably is unsurprising to everybody that, gasp, nothing is happening. In fact, nothing noteworthy HAS happened since Voomer got his bow. Of course, that’s not to say people aren’t trying to find new and exciting ways to stay merry.

The last time I got this bored, I spent my time finding interesting ways to explore the Scryer’s Tier, or standing very, VERY still on top of some blood elves so I could pretend my paladin alt was an anime too.

But even that gets boring sometimes. I certainly wouldn’t want to suggest that I think Blizzard should rush WotLK to us (especially given the initial state of TBC raiding), but there just isn’t anything happening.

OH! Actually, there is the one thing. This is, of course, no surprise to anybody who has been in Critical Mass for any length of time, but last week’s romp through Sunwell in a day marked (I believe) our sixth Kil’Jaeden kill. Very nearly five full months of being in Sunwell including six full clears, and not a single chest pattern drop — no sunfire robe, no shaman heal-y thing, no rogue stabby thing. I’ve been told by those who focus a lot more on this sort of thing than me that this is the fallout of removing “Essence of Immortals,” which dropped from certain bosses and guilds could trade in somewhere to help open the gates (which ended up opening automatically) and be rewarded with gold, patterns, and other various items I guess. The drop rates in the instance were not rebalanced to take into account that guilds did not have this pattern-receiving opportunity, so (true to CM luck) we get the same thing we do every single week — nothing.

Many folks blame Blizzard to some extent for this oversight. Me? I just do what I always do: blame Galrex.

Bonus points to anyone who can tell where the Pharazon screenshot was taken. Also to Galrex for being such a good sport about ruining our trash drops

The way I see it, you can divide comedy up into about three categories.

The first category is the type of comedy that REAL comedians do - make jokes out of ‘nothing.’ They spend their lives and career finding the absurdities in mundane situations and crafting them into things other people want to hear.

The second is what people who write for the front page of guild websites do - we find the absurdities in situations that are bound to be absurd (read: anything on the internet) and display them prominently for other people. Often, they’ll even try to make comments on what’s going on, just to make sure you don’t miss it I guess, and to give the illusion that the humor was inside themselves all along.

The third is the truly absurd. I use the word “absurd” here so often not because I lost my thesaurus, but because sometimes it’s really the only applicable word.

That’s not to say it always is, of course. Sometimes you can get a giggle by just posting out of context quotes. Sometimes you can get a laugh out of somebody doing something that they, personally, really shouldn’t be doing.

But sometimes you can find somebody who is doing something that NO PERSON should do. And this, of course, leads into the “meat” of the article, as it were.

I don’t even know how to make fun of this. This truly is absurd enough that I honestly don’t think I could say anything funny about it that’s funnier than it already is. The obvious joke that pops most immediately to mind is a “girls on wow” (or perhaps broader “girls on the internet”) joke. Old and played out, but it’s what the video is “about,” if you can even say that.

That aside, do you make fun of her American Idol sweatshirt? The hilariously inappropriate soundtrack she added? The fact she couldn’t seem to get a framerate above about a third of a frame per second? The pictures she posted of some people who aren’t even her? The “I wanna show off a little of my cleavage, but not TOO much” camera angle and clothing choice? The fact that she puts “topic: world of warcraft” at the end during the credits, so you know what she talked about in case you weren’t paying attention? The fact that this is video #3, but she only has two videos uploaded? The sweat and desperation from the guys posting comments that’s so thick you can smell it right through the internet?

I just don’t know.

In the meantime, make sure to grats Voomer on his new toy (see the post below this one if you missed it). Legendary drops are a lot less depressing than BlizzrdGrl.